This is a short essay I wrote about a recurring vision I have while meditating. In my vision I meet up with a spirit guide I call the Mother in one of her many forms, the she-wolf. My gratitude for the Mother knows no end. The Mother's presence has been essential to my growth, helping me to change my thoughts and subsequently, my life.
The Thought Adjuster - The Mother in Wolf-form
Sometimes, while meditating, I have a vision of walking
through a forested, hilly, stony landscape, unlike any place I had ever seen. I
find myself climbing stairs that seem to have been there for ages. I stop and
look to see the Mother in wolf-form waiting patiently for me at one of the
landings overlooking a vast, roaring sea stretching towards a hazy horizon. The
Mother beckons me to come along and follow her.
“I know of a better vantage point,” she seems to say, though
she does not speak with words. “Sometimes it is better to get higher to see the
bigger picture.”
I follow her, as she trots slowly, peacefully, as if there
is nothing to ever fear, head down, tail low. She turns every so often to
glance at me, a galaxy of stars glinting through her eyes. I feel so safe with
Mother here with me.
We reach a clearing that is framed by ivy climbing a tall
cliff. Before us is a stunning view, beautiful in the fading light. The
stars are already alight although the sun still clings to the sky. I could tell
that in this world there was nothing to pollute the atmosphere. The sea is
clear and vacillates between light and dark blue. In the middle of the clearing
is a fountain, seemingly wrought from the rocks that are scattered throughout
this land. The fountain is bubbling with lush, clear, glowing water. Mother is
standing next to the fountain, and the glint in her eyes begs me to come forth.
I approach and look into the water.
“What is this place, Mother?”
“This is a place out of time,” she says, “and I have brought
you here to take your fill of the cool, clean waters of life. But first, you
must let go of what you are carrying. I can tell it has grown heavier, the
longer you live. It is time to shed what troubles you. It is time to give your
burdens to me.”
We sit on the cliff overlooking the immense beauty before
us. As I run my fingers through her soft fur, I tell her all that troubles me.
She listens without judgment. I tell her all of my fears, worries, and burdens,
big and small. I am nearly overcome with a heavy heart as I remember all the
troubles I must endure in my life. She does not reply, but simply rests her
head in my lap. As I stroke her I feel all of the negative emotions release.
Then, in an instant, they are gone, as if they had never been there at all. The
Mother seems to relax as well. She has sent the burden far away from here. She
looks up and asks what I want from my life. What do I truly want? I tell her
all the things I’d like to feel, all the things I’d like to accomplish. I ask
for opportunities to flourish. I ask for the strength to be a better person,
the guidance to go down the right path, the fortitude to face tribulations, the
kindness and understanding to see myself and the ones I love through the jungle
of life. I ask to be happy each and every day. I ask for the wisdom to always
see the big picture, no matter how troublesome the circumstances I face. I ask
for mindfulness and the will to live for each moment.
The Mother is
pleased and invites me to drink from the well.
“Everything you want from life, you already have. It is time
for you to make the choice for yourself. Drink, and embrace the light inside of
you. Let that light shine in the darkness. Be a light for others in the
darkness, too. As for other matters, I will always provide. I will always be
there for you, to take upon your sorrows and burdens. I will always comfort you
and nurture you. I will always bring positivity into your life, if you ask for
it. I love you ceaselessly, unconditionally. For my love is forever; it knows
not time or space. And I will always be here. I will always walk by your side.
You are never alone.”
I drink the cool,
glowing water and feel every inch of me fill with light. I know now that
nothing will ever be the same, and that my life’s destiny is finally at hand.
“You may always come
back,” the Mother says. “There is much of this
universe to discover, and I will show you the way.”
“Thank you Mother,” I say, and then in ritual, “Thank you,
thank you, thank you. Blessed be.”
The Mother smiles. Ever seen a Wolf smile? She
does. We sit together and watch an alien sun sink below a strange horizon. I am at peace.
